To Prepare or Not To Prepare; That is the question!


Yesterday, I was in the supermarket and I overheard a pregnant woman telling her friend she was ‘dreading’ the birth.

Her friend asked if she done any preparations for the birth. “No”, she said. “I’m just NOT going to think about it.

“What kind of birth do you want?” enquired the friend.

“Well, I want it to be natural. I’m just going to go into hospital and see what happens”.


Inside, I wanted to tell her…

“No… please think about it.

Please do your research!

Please know how to set up an environment; an environment that’s conducive to the birthing process.

Please set up your support so you’re birthing partner, if you have one, knows what to do; so all their energy is directed at you and they aren’t panicking.

Imagine any other animal giving birth: a dog, a cat, a mouse. If someone is panicking right next to them or distracting them or putting them off in any way, their bodies just aren’t going to be as effective.

Please know about the fear, tension, pain cycle and know your body isn’t going to work as effectively if you’re ‘dreading’ it.”

Please know some effective tools for relaxation and practice them.

Please think about the words you use and think about how you might reframe your experience.

I wanted to say something.

But that would’ve been just rude, right? Please Mrs stranger, I’d really like to muscle in on what you’re up to and suggest you might take a birth empowerment class or hypnobirthing class. You sound worried. Maybe you’d like to consider making a start to a confident birth by reading Ina May Gaskin’s ‘Spiritual Midwifery’ or her ‘Guide To Childbirth’ to help normalise the birthing process and release the fears you have.

But I can’t go up to random Mrs Stranger in the street because it just felt rude.

We make decisions based on our frame of reference; what we’ve heard, what we know. And if we understand the birthing process and can distinguish it from hearsay and media representations of birth, we can potentially make better decisions.

When we know we can ask questions and what questions to ask, we can, at the very least, be more in control over what happens to us and our bodies and our babies.

I gave her my card. I couldn’t just walk on by.

Whether we prepare or don’t prepare is up to us.

If you’d like to prepare for your upcoming birth, Birth You In Love group classes will be at ‘magical’ The Wonder Inn, Shudehill, Manchester 3-5.30pm (just opposite the Arndale Centre). Course starts Saturday 18th June. 1:1 bespoke to a limited number of clients also available. Contact me for more details or to book your space.

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